Artist Statement: THE WALL

THE WALL is a journey through a dream; a shared encounter during the last moments of a life, untangling and seeking understanding, amidst a world in social and political upheaval.

This performance installation explores the nature of Self, Authoritarianism’s effect on the individual and society, and historical patterns of marginalization of the Queer population — that we then take into ourselves, and, hopefully, learn to undo; learn to trust our own beings, impulses, and desires.

THE WALL asks: What is truth? Who has the power to shape it? What power do secrets hold over us? Whose lies do we assimilate in order to be “respectable” and cling to an illusion of normalcy? Why do we adopt the words people say about who we are as our own true experience? And what happens when we embrace our present experience over memory, linear story and time, to step completely into the unknown together? On the razor’s edge of the moment.

This artifact of my 18-month COVID lockdown was partially sparked by the words of Dr. Sarah Kendzior, who wrote in Hiding In Plain Sight: The Invention of Donald Trump and the Erosion of America, that time under Authoritarian rule “…spirals forward and lurches backward. Your memories of political events become blurred when you try to reconcile your initial reactions with the revelatory backstories behind them, forcing you to process your country’s history — and your own — in new and painful ways…My own internal calendar lacks a clear chronology. My memories are often reduced to images tied together by the logic of feelings.”

The installation is centered around a 6’4”x6’4” wall of text from my studio, composed of automatic writings recorded during late nights and early mornings in lockdown. Each performance, and the space, are an improvised action painting layering atop and adding texture to what came before, influenced by who and what is in the space at this present moment. The words and images are influenced by world events, March 2020-August 2021 (well, and to the present), and a merging of the light and shadow of my life.

May you allow yourself time here. Connection. Exploration. Listen with your whole being. Breathe, because others cannot. And maybe you’ll be inspired to leave your memories, experiences, and marks in the space.

Your hand pulses. Truth now. Stay awake. Only truth now.


-Ray Caspio
April 14, 2023